Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Perfectionism

Teacher. Nurse. Cheerleader. Caregiver. There are so many titles that come with being a Mom- along with a lot of expectations. Hero. Professional chef. Entertainment guru. Coupon clipper. Someone who has their crap together 100% of the time. Well, believe me when I say, I struggle with all of those things, especially the latter.

It’s hard trying to be everything for everyone all the time. It seems like no matter what I do, it’s just not enough. Not enough time, not enough energy, so on and so forth. Growing up, I thought my Mom was “wonder woman.” She cooked, she cleaned, she worked, she did it all & I expected to the be the same type of Mom. Thinking about it now, I can see that I let those expectations shape my emotions & how I saw myself. I was bound and determined to be like her because I thought I needed to be, otherwise, I wasn’t going to cut it.
When I did become a Mom, I vowed to be the “perfect” one. Instead of remembering who I was called to be (exactly who God created), I let my perfectionism and this vision of it take over my mind. I stopped finding my own self-worth & I forgot that who I am is not defined by being a perfect Mom or person; because there is no such thing!

Do I make mistakes? All the time. Do I get angry & frustrated? Yep! Do I burn the food or forget to change the laundry loads? You bet! But I also love my friends & my family with every fiber of my being, I’m loyal to a fault, generous, & kindhearted. Do I parent differently than my Mom? For the most part. Do I still think she’s wonder woman? Absolutely! But I also know that it’s okay to be ME. It’s okay to make mistakes, to let the laundry sit in the washer a little too long, to forget to unload the dishwasher. What’s most important is that I know that no matter what type of mom, wife, friend, or family member that I am good enough to be in that role. I’d rather love with my whole heart, learn life lessons, & be exactly who I am anyway. I’m imperfectly perfect & I’m okay with that.

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